Breaking Down the Process

So now that we have a script example for the Personal Experience assignment, let's break down the process of how I got there and why it works.

First and foremost, I started with a simple idea that interested me. What happened between 5:30 and 6 in room 521 in O-House. The incident is small, compact and most importantly, can be told in 2 pages. Time is told with the changing song lyrics on The Girl's I-Pod and the changing numbers on the alarm clock, allowing for large jumps between panels with little movement.


Next, I considered how I wanted to tell the story. The obvious answer would be to narrate the experience with caption boxes to give a blow by blow account of the incident. This would not have made for compelling storytelling however. Knowing that I was essentially telling a horror story, I thought about elements and storytelling generally associated therein. Hence, the audience experiences the story alongside the character rather than listening to her explain it.

Once this was decided upon, I started to write.

Generally, I work on scripts like I work on thumbnails. I make a series of broad ideas before going back and refining them. Here's what that translates to:

1. I start by laying out my major actions. Think of this as the cheat sheet for your script. It has everything you need to write on it and allows you to see before you start the script what isn't working.

1. Establishing shot of girl sleeping in dorm room. Everything normal.
2. Clock changes to 5:30
3. Girl opens eyes
4. Turns on Ipod
5. Girl tries to shut world out
6. Ghost opens eyes
7. Ghost hand on blanket
8. Ghost grabs headphone
9. Ghost whispers in girl's ear
10. Clock changes to 6am
11. Everything back to normal
12. Girl marks off another day on calendar

When starting out, it's common to "over panel" a page. Step one is an easy way to combat this as you can automatically see how much room each panel may need when they're crunched together like this. If you have too many BIG shots, things need to be moved around a bit...

1. Establishing shot of girl sleeping in dorm room. Everything normal. BIG
2. Clock changes to 5:30 SMALL
3. Girl opens eyes SMALL/MED
4. Turns on Ipod SMALL
5. Girl tries to shut world out MED
6. Ghost opens eyes MED

2. Assuming everything is sounding good, I break down the pages and panels:

Page One:
1. Establishing shot of girl sleeping in dorm room. Everything normal.
2. Clock changes to 5:30
3. Girl opens eyes
4. Turns on Ipod
5. Girl tries to shut world out
6. Ghost opens eyes
Page Two:
1. Ghost hand on blanket
2. Ghost grabs headphone
3. Ghost whispers in girl's ear
4. Clock changes to 6am
5. Everything back to normal
6. Girl marks off another day on calendar

3. Half the script is done. Now I start refining (aka the penciling stage of scripting). This involves replacing the short statements with panel descriptions and adding in dialogue/sfx.

4. I do one final pass through to make sure everything sounds right and for edits.

5. VIDEO GAMES!

All in all, the two page assignment took roughly 20 minutes or less because the idea was solidified long before it hit paper.

When writing your scripts, keep these things in mind:

1. Is it something I'm interested in? Would I want to read this story?
2. How can I tell this story? What makes the perspective it's told from unique?
3. Does it have a beginning, a middle and an end?
4. Does it meet the requirements for the assignment? Am I breaking the rules or bending them?

Good Luck tomorrow! See you Monday!

An Example

I've been getting emails from the classes this weekend about the personal experience scripts. A lot of them are sharing the same troubles in that many are trying to tell the tale too literally and not thinking about what would make this event a good story. Some are also pushing at the boundry of the "Supernatural Ban" head-on rather than looking for a clever way around it.

In addition to the responses I've sent out, I sat down and wrote my version of the personal experience script as an example that deals with several of the things I've discussed with students. (The Supernatural Ban, passage of time, telling the story from a unique perspective...)



Personal Experience Synopsis:

A retelling of the nightly events in room 521 of O-house between 5:30am and 6:00 and how I survived them.


Getting to Six
By: Mia Paluzzi

Characters:

The Girl: Twenty-ish, dark short hair. Looks like she hasn’t slept in days. Large, KOSS headphones.

The Ghost: No taller nor older than an eight year old. Long, dark hair. 1800’s style nightgown that is tatty/burnt looking. Creepy eyes and skin.



Page One:


Panel One:
O-House dorm room. Two girls are sleeping in the room despite the soft morning light. The one farthest from the window sleeps facing the wall, a pair of headphones and an old I-Pod beside her pillow. Above her bed is a calendar. The clock on her night table/dresser clearly reads 5:29am.



Panel Two:
Clock changes to 5:30am

SFX: Click



Panel Three:
Girl’s eyes open as the room suddenly goes dark behind her. She has heavy dark circles under her eyes.



Panel Four:
She turns on I-Pod. Her breath is visible, like in the winter.

SFX: Click



Panel Five:
Squeezing her eyes shut, she hides under covers and presses her headphones to her ears.

Headphones: Help, I need somebody, Help, not just anybody, Help, you know I need someone, help…



Panel Six:
Over her shoulder, a scary pair of eyes appear in the darkness. Girl is increasingly distressed.

Headphones: And there's something in the air…Something in my eye, I've danced with you too long…






Page Two:

Panel One:
Sweat beads form on girl’s forehead as giggling and noises fill the room. A hand appears on her comforter.

Headphones: And oh, I don't know why, Oh, I don't know why, Perhaps they'll die, oh yeah…

SFX: Hee hee hee hee... / Giggle! / scriiiiiiiiiiiitch...

Panel Two:
The hand gently takes hold of one side of the headphones, lifting slightly. The girl shakes.

Headphones: Sont des mots qui vont très bien ensemble, Très bien ensemble…



Panel Three:
The girl’s eyes shoot wide open as the ghost girl leans in and whispers something in her ear.

Headphones: Your embrace… Was all that I feared… That whirling room…

Ghost: … … … …




Panel Four:
The clock changes to 6:00 am and starts beeping.

SFX: Click.




Panel Five:
The room returns to normal (as in panel 1) and the girl sits up looking relieved but still shaken.

Headphones: Was she ever?Was she ever here?




Panel Six:
With a shaky hand she marks another day off the calendar. We see she still has a week and a half left before the 22nd which is circled and has “GOING HOME” written there. Taped to the wall beside the calendar are various newspaper articles, website print-outs and old photos of a building on fire.

Headlines: ORPHANAGE BURNS IN FIRE, O-HOUSE FLOORS FIVE AND SIX ARE HAUNTED, CITY OF SAVANNAH PUBLIC RECORDS 1770-1890, etc.

Headphones: Hey, hey, good morning girl , Hey, hey, good morning girl, But I cant pass this time of day, no, I cant pass this time of day, No I cant pass this time of day

Separation Anxiety (aka the pep talk)

Despite what some may try to argue, people are generally more sensitive about their writing than their artwork. Writing is a very personal form of creation. Good writing, at the core, grows out of a combination of imagination and personal experience. No matter the story, something about it will directly reflect a piece of you.

For this reason, the most important lesson I can offer this quarter is thus:

You must learn to seperate yourself from your work.

By this, I do not mean I want you to take your experiences out of the story, rather, I want you to understand at all times that anything said about your work DOES NOT reflect on you personally. Moreso than with artwork, when constructive criticism is offered you must learn to put your ego aside and listen. No matter how good you are, your story could ALWAYS be better. BE FLEXIBLE. (This is an especially important skill to develop for the future when dealing with editors.)

The first time a script critque isn't sparkling in your favor, it's going to sting. Understand that up front, swallow it down and never be afraid to start over. Just don't get discouraged. Not everyone is going to be a great writer, but you can learn to be a good one.

Hard work will defeat genius.

Getting Started

This blog was created to help the scripting students in the sequential art program at the Savannah College of Art and Design by their grad intern for the fall quarter.