Here's the expansion of the problem with characters.
As I've discussed already with some of you, you're developing all sorts of "cool" characters without a story to put them in yet. (And many of you are unwilling to "kill" any of the cast to do so.) This causes trouble when you can't always fit all the characters into the story later on.
The thing is, it's a common practice to add more characters when you don't know what to do next. It's an easy way to keep the plot moving, but it's not always effective and can end up bogging things down later.
So, think of it this way: If your story is the puzzle, then the characters are your puzzle pieces. The trouble is, not all of the pieces are going to fit. It's your job as the writer to weed out the mismatched pieces.
There isn't a set formula for deciding. Technically speaking, you can write a story about anything so you could always work in a character that doesn't seem to fit. The best advice on this I can give is to examine each character and decide if they're really going to help move your plot forward. Characters that snag the plot and drag it into the murky vagueness or completely hinder you from writing about the intended plot are not aiding your storytelling.
Here is one example of the process I go through when cutting a cast down. We have 5 characters created for this story, but as we only have 50 pages to tell it in, 5 characters seems like too much.
1. Bob---Wants to go to Emerald City
2. Mark---Knows the way to Emerald City
3. Mia---a fighter:Dreams of becoming the world's best rubber band shooter at the Ruby City tournament
4. Kevin--a fighter:wants to get his hair cut in Emerald City
5. Kate---a fighter:wants to buy a new hat from Emerald City
All 5 characters are FREAKING AWESOME! but, not all 5 characters are really helping the story. The question is, how to weed out the bad ones.
Let's start by choosing a main character. As the story we're writing is about how Bob wants to visit Emerald City, then the logical choice is to start with Bob.
1. Bob--Main character
All right! We're doing good! We've established not only some of what the story is about, but we also know that the story we're telling will revolve around Bob! Now, technically, we may not need another character. Maybe this is a solo story about Bob. On the chance that it is not, let's look at our character list again:
2. Mark---Knows the way to Emerald City
3. Mia---a fighter:Dreams of becoming the world's best rubber band shooter at the Ruby City tournament
4. Kevin--a fighter:wants to get his hair cut in Emerald City
5. Kate---a fighter:wants to buy a new hat from Emerald City
Of these 4 characters, Mark is most needed for Bob's story. As a character, he's Bob's voice of reason and the person who gets him out of trouble. Also, Mark knows the way to Emerald City. Without Mark, Bob will not be able to achieve his GOAL. So our cast is now:
1. Bob--Main Character who wants to go to Emerald City.
2. Mark--His good friend who knows the way to Emerald City.
If this was a buddy comedy, we could stop here, however, the cast could use a bit more balance and a trio would be best for this adventure. Bob and Mark may still need a bit of help to achieve their GOAL as neither one of them are fighters. What if they get attacked on the way there? We can pick ONE MORE CHARACTER to help them reach their GOAL. Thankfully, we have 3 to choose from who all happen to be fighters.
3. Mia---a fighter:Dreams of becoming the world's best rubber band shooter at the Ruby City tournament
4. Kevin--a fighter:wants to get his hair cut in Emerald City
5. Kate---a fighter:wants to buy a new hat from Emerald City
Right away, we can cut out Mia. She might be FREAKING AWESOME! as a character, but her goals aren't helping. We aren't going to Ruby City and she's not really friends with Mark nor Bob. She has the least amount of reason to come along. So now we've got:
4. Kevin--a fighter:wants to get his hair cut in Emerald City
5. Kate---a fighter:wants to buy a new hat from Emerald City
Both of them have goals similar to Bob and Mark. Both could work. However, we don't need both. So who can offer SOMETHING WE DON'T ALREADY HAVE to the cast?
5. Kate---a fighter: wants to buy a new hat from Emerald City
In this case I'm choosing Kate over Kevin because BASED ON THE CHARACTER INFO WE HAVE, Kate would add another dynamic to the cast. Both she and Kevin have business in the Emerald City and can fight but Kate is different from the rest of the cast because she is a girl.
As a general rule, I always ask myself: WHAT IS THIS CHARACTER FOR? If the character serves no purpose, as with panels that serve no purpose, they can be cut from your script.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Overcomplication: THE SEQUEL
So, now that the basic synopsis stuff is out of the way, let's take a moment and talk about story construction...and why it's failing.
1. You don't actually understand the story you are writing.
2. You are creating "extra" characters before you have a "main" character/ story focus.
3. SPACE OPERA
4. 1000+ pages required for story
Number One there is the most common problem. You don't understand what sort of story you're writing. You don't have a clear picture of the beginning and the end which is mucking up the middle and turning everything into this vague murky mess. As the writer, YOU MUST KNOW WHAT YOUR STORY IS ABOUT! Concepts are fine. We all have concepts. At some point, those ideas must be solidified into a solid mass. Don't be wishy-washy! Make concrete decisions about your story telling.
Number Two I will expand upon in another post. This is a dangerous addiction for many novice writers and something we must discuss at length.
Number Three is the taboo we've been discussing all quarter and something that many of you jumped on like rabid animals once all restrictions were taken away. Space Opera's are not Star Wars: A New Hope. That is a singular (READ: SINGULAR) complete movie. If we never saw ANY other Star Wars films, we would still be able to understand Star Wars: A New Hope. For this assignment, you should strive to write Star Wars: A New Hope.
A SPACE OPERA can be likened to the ENTIRE Star Wars Universe. (Including the prequels, sequels, animated films, comics and novels.) There are a MILLION characters and plots and scenarios and powers and planets and aliens and...it's all a big headache. A Space Opera is a franchise. Epics get old very fast. Pick a plot that doesn't require a complete history of the universe to understand before we can begin reading it. Remember, you WILL NOT BE THERE TO EXPLAIN TO YOUR EDITOR/READER WHAT IS GOING ON. All you have is the story.
Number Four is something easily remedied, especially if you're the one drawing the comic. Submitting a story right now that's 1000 pages+ in length seems awesome...but let us play the devil's advocate for a moment. Have you ever written 1000 pages of script before? 500? 200? Have you ever drawn that many?
Most artists average 22 pages a month which equals out to 264 pages a year. To get 1000 pages out, you're looking at roughly 4-5 years of work. Long works are fine, but why not start with something smaller? Many people find it difficult to stick with a project that long, especially in the beginning of their careers.
Overall, I know some of you feel like I'm trying to squash you down or hold you back. I'm doing neither. There's a time and a place for all things in this world, however, as artists and writers starting out, it is important to learn to walk before you leap into a full run. If you aren't walking steady yet, don't force yourself into a run. Practice really does make perfect. It's all right to start with something smaller than EPIC.
1. You don't actually understand the story you are writing.
2. You are creating "extra" characters before you have a "main" character/ story focus.
3. SPACE OPERA
4. 1000+ pages required for story
Number One there is the most common problem. You don't understand what sort of story you're writing. You don't have a clear picture of the beginning and the end which is mucking up the middle and turning everything into this vague murky mess. As the writer, YOU MUST KNOW WHAT YOUR STORY IS ABOUT! Concepts are fine. We all have concepts. At some point, those ideas must be solidified into a solid mass. Don't be wishy-washy! Make concrete decisions about your story telling.
Number Two I will expand upon in another post. This is a dangerous addiction for many novice writers and something we must discuss at length.
Number Three is the taboo we've been discussing all quarter and something that many of you jumped on like rabid animals once all restrictions were taken away. Space Opera's are not Star Wars: A New Hope. That is a singular (READ: SINGULAR) complete movie. If we never saw ANY other Star Wars films, we would still be able to understand Star Wars: A New Hope. For this assignment, you should strive to write Star Wars: A New Hope.
A SPACE OPERA can be likened to the ENTIRE Star Wars Universe. (Including the prequels, sequels, animated films, comics and novels.) There are a MILLION characters and plots and scenarios and powers and planets and aliens and...it's all a big headache. A Space Opera is a franchise. Epics get old very fast. Pick a plot that doesn't require a complete history of the universe to understand before we can begin reading it. Remember, you WILL NOT BE THERE TO EXPLAIN TO YOUR EDITOR/READER WHAT IS GOING ON. All you have is the story.
Number Four is something easily remedied, especially if you're the one drawing the comic. Submitting a story right now that's 1000 pages+ in length seems awesome...but let us play the devil's advocate for a moment. Have you ever written 1000 pages of script before? 500? 200? Have you ever drawn that many?
Most artists average 22 pages a month which equals out to 264 pages a year. To get 1000 pages out, you're looking at roughly 4-5 years of work. Long works are fine, but why not start with something smaller? Many people find it difficult to stick with a project that long, especially in the beginning of their careers.
Overall, I know some of you feel like I'm trying to squash you down or hold you back. I'm doing neither. There's a time and a place for all things in this world, however, as artists and writers starting out, it is important to learn to walk before you leap into a full run. If you aren't walking steady yet, don't force yourself into a run. Practice really does make perfect. It's all right to start with something smaller than EPIC.
Expanding the Synopsis
So, now that we've gone back to basics to find CLARITY and UNDERSTANDING in our story, we now must expand that synopsis a bit more so that it fits roughly into a page.
So here's the short form:
In the quaint 1957 setting of GoblinTown U.S.A, Emma the Goblin tires of being a slave and dreams of being free to bake cupcakes all day long. Unfortunately for Emma, The Evil King of Trolls has enslaved her goblin-people and he hates cupcakes. Emma despairs she will never live her dream life, when one day in the woods, she meets a powerful human wizard who is upset that his mum was killed by the Evil King of Trolls. After a chat, the two join forces and defeat the Evil King of Trolls and Emma, now free, bakes cupcakes all day long for the wizard, who is happy now that he has avenged his mother.
Taking the short synopsis, I simply began plugging in a few more details to round out the story. Note that I've stayed away from what the characters are thinking and feeling as much as possible. FOCUS ON THE ACTIONS!
GOBLIN CAKES
By: Mia Paluzzi
Genre: Children’s Fantasy
Rating: All Ages
Pages: 75
SYNOPSIS
In the quaint 1957 setting of GoblinTown U.S.A, Emma the Goblin tires
of being a slave and dreams of being free to bake cupcakes all day long.
Unfortunately for Emma, The Evil King of Trolls has enslaved her goblin-
people and he hates cupcakes. Unable to fight him on her own, Emma
spends her days fetching water from the Forest Well for his royal baths
and writing down cupcake recipes in her journal to pass the time.
Then, one day in the woods, she finds a bedraggled looking human
passed out near the well. Though frightened, as all goblin children are
told scary stories of humans, Emma finds pity for the man and offers
him water. Instantly rejuvenated, the man thanks Emma and introduces
himself as Jacob. Jacob, as Emma soon discovers is a powerful wizard from
the next town over, who has been wandering the world in despair ever since
the death of his Mom. As he continues his tale of lament, Jacob reveals that
his Mom was a famous cupcake baker and she was killed by none other than
the Evil King of Trolls because he despised her cupcakes. He came to
GoblinTown to avenge his mother, but sadly could not get into the well-
guarded castle.
Emma, being a clever sort of girl, promises that she will help him get into
the castle if he’ll help her defeat the Evil King of Trolls. Jacob agrees and
Emma sneaks him into the castle through a servant entrance. The pair
corner the Evil King of Trolls just as he is about to take a bath. Angry that
Emma is late with his bath water, the Evil King of Trolls threatens to eat
her for dinner when Jacob springs from his hiding place and turns the
King of Trolls into a statue, thus freeing all the goblins and ending their
strife. GoblinTown becomes a free republic and the citizens place the
statue of the Evil King of Trolls (still in his bath towel and shower cap)
in the center of the town to remind them to be good to one another.
Emma, now free, can finally try out her recipes and bakes cupcakes all
day long for her friend, Jacob, who is happy now that he has avenged
his mother.
As a WORD document, this synopsis is exactly a page and a paragraph. If your expanded synopsis is bleeding into a 3rd page, then you're adding too much detail and you need to cut back. Remember, just like writing a panel description, you need to tell us just enough of what's going on that we can understand it clearly, but not so much that you're writing out a short story. The longer your story is, the more you need to synopsize.
So here's the short form:
In the quaint 1957 setting of GoblinTown U.S.A, Emma the Goblin tires of being a slave and dreams of being free to bake cupcakes all day long. Unfortunately for Emma, The Evil King of Trolls has enslaved her goblin-people and he hates cupcakes. Emma despairs she will never live her dream life, when one day in the woods, she meets a powerful human wizard who is upset that his mum was killed by the Evil King of Trolls. After a chat, the two join forces and defeat the Evil King of Trolls and Emma, now free, bakes cupcakes all day long for the wizard, who is happy now that he has avenged his mother.
Taking the short synopsis, I simply began plugging in a few more details to round out the story. Note that I've stayed away from what the characters are thinking and feeling as much as possible. FOCUS ON THE ACTIONS!
GOBLIN CAKES
By: Mia Paluzzi
Genre: Children’s Fantasy
Rating: All Ages
Pages: 75
SYNOPSIS
In the quaint 1957 setting of GoblinTown U.S.A, Emma the Goblin tires
of being a slave and dreams of being free to bake cupcakes all day long.
Unfortunately for Emma, The Evil King of Trolls has enslaved her goblin-
people and he hates cupcakes. Unable to fight him on her own, Emma
spends her days fetching water from the Forest Well for his royal baths
and writing down cupcake recipes in her journal to pass the time.
Then, one day in the woods, she finds a bedraggled looking human
passed out near the well. Though frightened, as all goblin children are
told scary stories of humans, Emma finds pity for the man and offers
him water. Instantly rejuvenated, the man thanks Emma and introduces
himself as Jacob. Jacob, as Emma soon discovers is a powerful wizard from
the next town over, who has been wandering the world in despair ever since
the death of his Mom. As he continues his tale of lament, Jacob reveals that
his Mom was a famous cupcake baker and she was killed by none other than
the Evil King of Trolls because he despised her cupcakes. He came to
GoblinTown to avenge his mother, but sadly could not get into the well-
guarded castle.
Emma, being a clever sort of girl, promises that she will help him get into
the castle if he’ll help her defeat the Evil King of Trolls. Jacob agrees and
Emma sneaks him into the castle through a servant entrance. The pair
corner the Evil King of Trolls just as he is about to take a bath. Angry that
Emma is late with his bath water, the Evil King of Trolls threatens to eat
her for dinner when Jacob springs from his hiding place and turns the
King of Trolls into a statue, thus freeing all the goblins and ending their
strife. GoblinTown becomes a free republic and the citizens place the
statue of the Evil King of Trolls (still in his bath towel and shower cap)
in the center of the town to remind them to be good to one another.
Emma, now free, can finally try out her recipes and bakes cupcakes all
day long for her friend, Jacob, who is happy now that he has avenged
his mother.
As a WORD document, this synopsis is exactly a page and a paragraph. If your expanded synopsis is bleeding into a 3rd page, then you're adding too much detail and you need to cut back. Remember, just like writing a panel description, you need to tell us just enough of what's going on that we can understand it clearly, but not so much that you're writing out a short story. The longer your story is, the more you need to synopsize.
Overcomplicating the Matter
While I haven't been able to read through all the synopsis sent to me this weekend, there's one big point of trouble everyone is sharing right now:
Overcomplication.
It seems like the majority of people have jumped right into the long form synopsis without first hashing out a simplified one. I know, I know...some of you have told me you're tired of going back to basics, you're a big kid now and you don't need to be babied. Without the basics however, your story has nothing to stand on.
I don't care how stupid or inane you think it sounds, you need to be able to say what your story is in a single sentance. Every story in existence can be broken down into one sentance...I guarantee yours is no different. If you can't do this effectively, then you need to clarify first with yourself what sort of story you're telling. To do this, you may have to break things down EVEN FURTHER! (Gasp!)
For example:
Start with the words: My story is about_______. KEEP THIS SIMPLE!
---My story is about a girl named, Emma.
There we now know our story is about a girl named Emma. But, now we must ask who is Emma?
---Emma is a goblin.
Now, we have begun to reach another level of understanding. The story is about a girl, named Emma, who is a goblin. Of course, now that we know our WHO, we must ask: What happens to Emma that makes us care to read about her?
---Emma defeats the evil king of Trolls who has enslaved her people.
Well, that's interesting. We now have a WHO (Emma, the goblin) and a WHAT HAPPENS (she defeats an evil king). That sounds suspiciously like THE ENDING of Emma's story to me. So of course, knowing the ending, I now want to know HOW Emma defeats the king...
---Emma convinces a powerful human wizard from the next town over to help after discovering his mother was killed by the evil King back in the day.
Oh wowie! So, we've got Emma the Goblin who defeats the evil King of Trolls who enslaved her people, by joining forces with a powerful human wizard who already had a grudge against the guy. That's pretty good. Now I wonder WHY is Emma doing this?
---Emma is tired of being a slave and wants to be free to bake cupcakes.
...so, Emma the Goblin, who is tired of being a slave and wants to be free to bake cupcakes, defeats the evil King of Trolls who enslaved her people, by joining forces with a powerful human wizard who already had a grudge against the guy. Not too bad...not too bad...all that seems to be missing is the WHERE and WHEN.
---GoblinTown, U.S.A, 1957
(Deep breath now...) So! In 1957 in GoblinTown, U.S.A, Emma the Goblin, who is tired of being a slave and wants to be free to bake cupcakes, defeats the evil King of Trolls who enslaved her people, by joining forces with a powerful human wizard who already had a grudge against the guy.
Here, we've covered everything a person (or an author) needs to know about the story. We have our WHO, WHAT, HOW, WHY, WHERE and WHEN. It's a rather ugly synopsis however. Let's clean it up.
In the quaint 1957 setting of GoblinTown U.S.A, Emma the Goblin tires of being a slave and dreams of being free to bake cupcakes all day long. Unfortunately for Emma, The Evil King of Trolls has enslaved her goblin-people and he hates cupcakes. Emma despairs she will never live her dream life, when one day in the woods, she meets a powerful human wizard who is upset that his mum was killed by the Evil King of Trolls. After a chat, the two join forces and defeat the Evil King of Trolls and Emma, now free, bakes cupcakes all day long for the wizard, who is happy now that he has avenged his mother.
As a quick, short synopsis, this isn't bad. It gives the reader a VERY CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF THE BASIC PLOT. We immediately can pick out the BEGINNING, MIDDLE and END.
This VERY CLEAR UNDERSTANDING is what is lacking from most of the synopsis in the classes. Remember, when it doubt, err on the side of CLARITY. If what you are writing cannot be immediately understood, you will not be there with the editor to explain it!
Overcomplication.
It seems like the majority of people have jumped right into the long form synopsis without first hashing out a simplified one. I know, I know...some of you have told me you're tired of going back to basics, you're a big kid now and you don't need to be babied. Without the basics however, your story has nothing to stand on.
I don't care how stupid or inane you think it sounds, you need to be able to say what your story is in a single sentance. Every story in existence can be broken down into one sentance...I guarantee yours is no different. If you can't do this effectively, then you need to clarify first with yourself what sort of story you're telling. To do this, you may have to break things down EVEN FURTHER! (Gasp!)
For example:
Start with the words: My story is about_______. KEEP THIS SIMPLE!
---My story is about a girl named, Emma.
There we now know our story is about a girl named Emma. But, now we must ask who is Emma?
---Emma is a goblin.
Now, we have begun to reach another level of understanding. The story is about a girl, named Emma, who is a goblin. Of course, now that we know our WHO, we must ask: What happens to Emma that makes us care to read about her?
---Emma defeats the evil king of Trolls who has enslaved her people.
Well, that's interesting. We now have a WHO (Emma, the goblin) and a WHAT HAPPENS (she defeats an evil king). That sounds suspiciously like THE ENDING of Emma's story to me. So of course, knowing the ending, I now want to know HOW Emma defeats the king...
---Emma convinces a powerful human wizard from the next town over to help after discovering his mother was killed by the evil King back in the day.
Oh wowie! So, we've got Emma the Goblin who defeats the evil King of Trolls who enslaved her people, by joining forces with a powerful human wizard who already had a grudge against the guy. That's pretty good. Now I wonder WHY is Emma doing this?
---Emma is tired of being a slave and wants to be free to bake cupcakes.
...so, Emma the Goblin, who is tired of being a slave and wants to be free to bake cupcakes, defeats the evil King of Trolls who enslaved her people, by joining forces with a powerful human wizard who already had a grudge against the guy. Not too bad...not too bad...all that seems to be missing is the WHERE and WHEN.
---GoblinTown, U.S.A, 1957
(Deep breath now...) So! In 1957 in GoblinTown, U.S.A, Emma the Goblin, who is tired of being a slave and wants to be free to bake cupcakes, defeats the evil King of Trolls who enslaved her people, by joining forces with a powerful human wizard who already had a grudge against the guy.
Here, we've covered everything a person (or an author) needs to know about the story. We have our WHO, WHAT, HOW, WHY, WHERE and WHEN. It's a rather ugly synopsis however. Let's clean it up.
In the quaint 1957 setting of GoblinTown U.S.A, Emma the Goblin tires of being a slave and dreams of being free to bake cupcakes all day long. Unfortunately for Emma, The Evil King of Trolls has enslaved her goblin-people and he hates cupcakes. Emma despairs she will never live her dream life, when one day in the woods, she meets a powerful human wizard who is upset that his mum was killed by the Evil King of Trolls. After a chat, the two join forces and defeat the Evil King of Trolls and Emma, now free, bakes cupcakes all day long for the wizard, who is happy now that he has avenged his mother.
As a quick, short synopsis, this isn't bad. It gives the reader a VERY CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF THE BASIC PLOT. We immediately can pick out the BEGINNING, MIDDLE and END.
This VERY CLEAR UNDERSTANDING is what is lacking from most of the synopsis in the classes. Remember, when it doubt, err on the side of CLARITY. If what you are writing cannot be immediately understood, you will not be there with the editor to explain it!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Breaking Down the Process
So now that we have a script example for the Personal Experience assignment, let's break down the process of how I got there and why it works.
First and foremost, I started with a simple idea that interested me. What happened between 5:30 and 6 in room 521 in O-House. The incident is small, compact and most importantly, can be told in 2 pages. Time is told with the changing song lyrics on The Girl's I-Pod and the changing numbers on the alarm clock, allowing for large jumps between panels with little movement.
Next, I considered how I wanted to tell the story. The obvious answer would be to narrate the experience with caption boxes to give a blow by blow account of the incident. This would not have made for compelling storytelling however. Knowing that I was essentially telling a horror story, I thought about elements and storytelling generally associated therein. Hence, the audience experiences the story alongside the character rather than listening to her explain it.
Once this was decided upon, I started to write.
Generally, I work on scripts like I work on thumbnails. I make a series of broad ideas before going back and refining them. Here's what that translates to:
1. I start by laying out my major actions. Think of this as the cheat sheet for your script. It has everything you need to write on it and allows you to see before you start the script what isn't working.
1. Establishing shot of girl sleeping in dorm room. Everything normal.
2. Clock changes to 5:30
3. Girl opens eyes
4. Turns on Ipod
5. Girl tries to shut world out
6. Ghost opens eyes
7. Ghost hand on blanket
8. Ghost grabs headphone
9. Ghost whispers in girl's ear
10. Clock changes to 6am
11. Everything back to normal
12. Girl marks off another day on calendar
When starting out, it's common to "over panel" a page. Step one is an easy way to combat this as you can automatically see how much room each panel may need when they're crunched together like this. If you have too many BIG shots, things need to be moved around a bit...
1. Establishing shot of girl sleeping in dorm room. Everything normal. BIG
2. Clock changes to 5:30 SMALL
3. Girl opens eyes SMALL/MED
4. Turns on Ipod SMALL
5. Girl tries to shut world out MED
6. Ghost opens eyes MED
2. Assuming everything is sounding good, I break down the pages and panels:
Page One:
1. Establishing shot of girl sleeping in dorm room. Everything normal.
2. Clock changes to 5:30
3. Girl opens eyes
4. Turns on Ipod
5. Girl tries to shut world out
6. Ghost opens eyes
Page Two:
1. Ghost hand on blanket
2. Ghost grabs headphone
3. Ghost whispers in girl's ear
4. Clock changes to 6am
5. Everything back to normal
6. Girl marks off another day on calendar
3. Half the script is done. Now I start refining (aka the penciling stage of scripting). This involves replacing the short statements with panel descriptions and adding in dialogue/sfx.
4. I do one final pass through to make sure everything sounds right and for edits.
5. VIDEO GAMES!
All in all, the two page assignment took roughly 20 minutes or less because the idea was solidified long before it hit paper.
When writing your scripts, keep these things in mind:
1. Is it something I'm interested in? Would I want to read this story?
2. How can I tell this story? What makes the perspective it's told from unique?
3. Does it have a beginning, a middle and an end?
4. Does it meet the requirements for the assignment? Am I breaking the rules or bending them?
Good Luck tomorrow! See you Monday!
First and foremost, I started with a simple idea that interested me. What happened between 5:30 and 6 in room 521 in O-House. The incident is small, compact and most importantly, can be told in 2 pages. Time is told with the changing song lyrics on The Girl's I-Pod and the changing numbers on the alarm clock, allowing for large jumps between panels with little movement.
Next, I considered how I wanted to tell the story. The obvious answer would be to narrate the experience with caption boxes to give a blow by blow account of the incident. This would not have made for compelling storytelling however. Knowing that I was essentially telling a horror story, I thought about elements and storytelling generally associated therein. Hence, the audience experiences the story alongside the character rather than listening to her explain it.
Once this was decided upon, I started to write.
Generally, I work on scripts like I work on thumbnails. I make a series of broad ideas before going back and refining them. Here's what that translates to:
1. I start by laying out my major actions. Think of this as the cheat sheet for your script. It has everything you need to write on it and allows you to see before you start the script what isn't working.
1. Establishing shot of girl sleeping in dorm room. Everything normal.
2. Clock changes to 5:30
3. Girl opens eyes
4. Turns on Ipod
5. Girl tries to shut world out
6. Ghost opens eyes
7. Ghost hand on blanket
8. Ghost grabs headphone
9. Ghost whispers in girl's ear
10. Clock changes to 6am
11. Everything back to normal
12. Girl marks off another day on calendar
When starting out, it's common to "over panel" a page. Step one is an easy way to combat this as you can automatically see how much room each panel may need when they're crunched together like this. If you have too many BIG shots, things need to be moved around a bit...
1. Establishing shot of girl sleeping in dorm room. Everything normal. BIG
2. Clock changes to 5:30 SMALL
3. Girl opens eyes SMALL/MED
4. Turns on Ipod SMALL
5. Girl tries to shut world out MED
6. Ghost opens eyes MED
2. Assuming everything is sounding good, I break down the pages and panels:
Page One:
1. Establishing shot of girl sleeping in dorm room. Everything normal.
2. Clock changes to 5:30
3. Girl opens eyes
4. Turns on Ipod
5. Girl tries to shut world out
6. Ghost opens eyes
Page Two:
1. Ghost hand on blanket
2. Ghost grabs headphone
3. Ghost whispers in girl's ear
4. Clock changes to 6am
5. Everything back to normal
6. Girl marks off another day on calendar
3. Half the script is done. Now I start refining (aka the penciling stage of scripting). This involves replacing the short statements with panel descriptions and adding in dialogue/sfx.
4. I do one final pass through to make sure everything sounds right and for edits.
5. VIDEO GAMES!
All in all, the two page assignment took roughly 20 minutes or less because the idea was solidified long before it hit paper.
When writing your scripts, keep these things in mind:
1. Is it something I'm interested in? Would I want to read this story?
2. How can I tell this story? What makes the perspective it's told from unique?
3. Does it have a beginning, a middle and an end?
4. Does it meet the requirements for the assignment? Am I breaking the rules or bending them?
Good Luck tomorrow! See you Monday!
Saturday, September 15, 2007
An Example
I've been getting emails from the classes this weekend about the personal experience scripts. A lot of them are sharing the same troubles in that many are trying to tell the tale too literally and not thinking about what would make this event a good story. Some are also pushing at the boundry of the "Supernatural Ban" head-on rather than looking for a clever way around it.
In addition to the responses I've sent out, I sat down and wrote my version of the personal experience script as an example that deals with several of the things I've discussed with students. (The Supernatural Ban, passage of time, telling the story from a unique perspective...)
Personal Experience Synopsis:
A retelling of the nightly events in room 521 of O-house between 5:30am and 6:00 and how I survived them.
Getting to Six
By: Mia Paluzzi
Characters:
The Girl: Twenty-ish, dark short hair. Looks like she hasn’t slept in days. Large, KOSS headphones.
The Ghost: No taller nor older than an eight year old. Long, dark hair. 1800’s style nightgown that is tatty/burnt looking. Creepy eyes and skin.
Page One:
Panel One:
O-House dorm room. Two girls are sleeping in the room despite the soft morning light. The one farthest from the window sleeps facing the wall, a pair of headphones and an old I-Pod beside her pillow. Above her bed is a calendar. The clock on her night table/dresser clearly reads 5:29am.
Panel Two:
Clock changes to 5:30am
SFX: Click
Panel Three:
Girl’s eyes open as the room suddenly goes dark behind her. She has heavy dark circles under her eyes.
Panel Four:
She turns on I-Pod. Her breath is visible, like in the winter.
SFX: Click
Panel Five:
Squeezing her eyes shut, she hides under covers and presses her headphones to her ears.
Headphones: Help, I need somebody, Help, not just anybody, Help, you know I need someone, help…
Panel Six:
Over her shoulder, a scary pair of eyes appear in the darkness. Girl is increasingly distressed.
Headphones: And there's something in the air…Something in my eye, I've danced with you too long…
Page Two:
Panel One:
Sweat beads form on girl’s forehead as giggling and noises fill the room. A hand appears on her comforter.
Headphones: And oh, I don't know why, Oh, I don't know why, Perhaps they'll die, oh yeah…
Panel Two:
The hand gently takes hold of one side of the headphones, lifting slightly. The girl shakes.
Headphones: Sont des mots qui vont très bien ensemble, Très bien ensemble…
Panel Three:
The girl’s eyes shoot wide open as the ghost girl leans in and whispers something in her ear.
Headphones: Your embrace… Was all that I feared… That whirling room…
Ghost: … … … …
Panel Four:
The clock changes to 6:00 am and starts beeping.
SFX: Click.
Panel Five:
The room returns to normal (as in panel 1) and the girl sits up looking relieved but still shaken.
Headphones: Was she ever?Was she ever here?
Panel Six:
With a shaky hand she marks another day off the calendar. We see she still has a week and a half left before the 22nd which is circled and has “GOING HOME” written there. Taped to the wall beside the calendar are various newspaper articles, website print-outs and old photos of a building on fire.
Headlines: ORPHANAGE BURNS IN FIRE, O-HOUSE FLOORS FIVE AND SIX ARE HAUNTED, CITY OF SAVANNAH PUBLIC RECORDS 1770-1890, etc.
Headphones: Hey, hey, good morning girl , Hey, hey, good morning girl, But I cant pass this time of day, no, I cant pass this time of day, No I cant pass this time of day
In addition to the responses I've sent out, I sat down and wrote my version of the personal experience script as an example that deals with several of the things I've discussed with students. (The Supernatural Ban, passage of time, telling the story from a unique perspective...)
Personal Experience Synopsis:
A retelling of the nightly events in room 521 of O-house between 5:30am and 6:00 and how I survived them.
Getting to Six
By: Mia Paluzzi
Characters:
The Girl: Twenty-ish, dark short hair. Looks like she hasn’t slept in days. Large, KOSS headphones.
The Ghost: No taller nor older than an eight year old. Long, dark hair. 1800’s style nightgown that is tatty/burnt looking. Creepy eyes and skin.
Page One:
Panel One:
O-House dorm room. Two girls are sleeping in the room despite the soft morning light. The one farthest from the window sleeps facing the wall, a pair of headphones and an old I-Pod beside her pillow. Above her bed is a calendar. The clock on her night table/dresser clearly reads 5:29am.
Panel Two:
Clock changes to 5:30am
SFX: Click
Panel Three:
Girl’s eyes open as the room suddenly goes dark behind her. She has heavy dark circles under her eyes.
Panel Four:
She turns on I-Pod. Her breath is visible, like in the winter.
SFX: Click
Panel Five:
Squeezing her eyes shut, she hides under covers and presses her headphones to her ears.
Headphones: Help, I need somebody, Help, not just anybody, Help, you know I need someone, help…
Panel Six:
Over her shoulder, a scary pair of eyes appear in the darkness. Girl is increasingly distressed.
Headphones: And there's something in the air…Something in my eye, I've danced with you too long…
Page Two:
Panel One:
Sweat beads form on girl’s forehead as giggling and noises fill the room. A hand appears on her comforter.
Headphones: And oh, I don't know why, Oh, I don't know why, Perhaps they'll die, oh yeah…
SFX: Hee hee hee hee... / Giggle! / scriiiiiiiiiiiitch...
Panel Two:
The hand gently takes hold of one side of the headphones, lifting slightly. The girl shakes.
Headphones: Sont des mots qui vont très bien ensemble, Très bien ensemble…
Panel Three:
The girl’s eyes shoot wide open as the ghost girl leans in and whispers something in her ear.
Headphones: Your embrace… Was all that I feared… That whirling room…
Ghost: … … … …
Panel Four:
The clock changes to 6:00 am and starts beeping.
SFX: Click.
Panel Five:
The room returns to normal (as in panel 1) and the girl sits up looking relieved but still shaken.
Headphones: Was she ever?Was she ever here?
Panel Six:
With a shaky hand she marks another day off the calendar. We see she still has a week and a half left before the 22nd which is circled and has “GOING HOME” written there. Taped to the wall beside the calendar are various newspaper articles, website print-outs and old photos of a building on fire.
Headlines: ORPHANAGE BURNS IN FIRE, O-HOUSE FLOORS FIVE AND SIX ARE HAUNTED, CITY OF SAVANNAH PUBLIC RECORDS 1770-1890, etc.
Headphones: Hey, hey, good morning girl , Hey, hey, good morning girl, But I cant pass this time of day, no, I cant pass this time of day, No I cant pass this time of day
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Separation Anxiety (aka the pep talk)
Despite what some may try to argue, people are generally more sensitive about their writing than their artwork. Writing is a very personal form of creation. Good writing, at the core, grows out of a combination of imagination and personal experience. No matter the story, something about it will directly reflect a piece of you.
For this reason, the most important lesson I can offer this quarter is thus:
You must learn to seperate yourself from your work.
By this, I do not mean I want you to take your experiences out of the story, rather, I want you to understand at all times that anything said about your work DOES NOT reflect on you personally. Moreso than with artwork, when constructive criticism is offered you must learn to put your ego aside and listen. No matter how good you are, your story could ALWAYS be better. BE FLEXIBLE. (This is an especially important skill to develop for the future when dealing with editors.)
The first time a script critque isn't sparkling in your favor, it's going to sting. Understand that up front, swallow it down and never be afraid to start over. Just don't get discouraged. Not everyone is going to be a great writer, but you can learn to be a good one.
Hard work will defeat genius.
For this reason, the most important lesson I can offer this quarter is thus:
You must learn to seperate yourself from your work.
By this, I do not mean I want you to take your experiences out of the story, rather, I want you to understand at all times that anything said about your work DOES NOT reflect on you personally. Moreso than with artwork, when constructive criticism is offered you must learn to put your ego aside and listen. No matter how good you are, your story could ALWAYS be better. BE FLEXIBLE. (This is an especially important skill to develop for the future when dealing with editors.)
The first time a script critque isn't sparkling in your favor, it's going to sting. Understand that up front, swallow it down and never be afraid to start over. Just don't get discouraged. Not everyone is going to be a great writer, but you can learn to be a good one.
Hard work will defeat genius.
Getting Started
This blog was created to help the scripting students in the sequential art program at the Savannah College of Art and Design by their grad intern for the fall quarter.
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